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Submitted on
November 3, 2012
Image Size
6.7 MB
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455 (who?)
The Light by Kaltenbrunner The Light by Kaltenbrunner
Gare de Lyon, Paris.
Portra 160.

#FeedbackFrenzy : critique on the point of view, the contrast, the format of the picture, the composition.

Revamped the 4th october 2014.
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The first thing I noticed about this, is that it's a little blurry, which can have a nice affect in some pictures, but in this case it just takes away from the quality, which is really rather sad.

The contrast is too strong too, the light is too strong, making the dark parts just too dark. A softer touch so people could see a little more of what's closest to them would have had a much better impact on the viewer and still create a great darkness/light contrast.

The angle is pretty good though, it gives an amazing sense of depth, you can see part of the ground, the sky, it's just all there.

All I can say really is that in general it was a good idea, but it's too blurry and the contrast is just a little too strong, work on that and your photos are gonna be A+
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
5 out of 5 deviants thought this was fair.

I Really do love this. You have a definitive stlye that is for sure. I Really do like this and have no real constructive critisim to contribute. To me this image is visually stunning, and I personally like the blurry look. I can't wait to see more of these. It does look like it might need to be color corrected, but to me it looks fine without it. Personally, this took my breath away, I really enjoy this image, along with your other ones. Keep up the good work. I am just curious on one aspect, I may have over looked it, what did you do exactly in the digital darkroom? and if it is on film (Which it looks like it can go either way for me) what did you do in the darkroom?
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
4 out of 4 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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Alheimia Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
C'est quoi, c'te ré-édit ? :o :p
Kaltenbrunner Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2014
Retouches sur Lightroom pour redonner du peps à mes anciens clichés et les rapprocher de ma vision des choses :)
Alheimia Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Hunhun !!! Yé vois !
atxnewbie Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014
Nice ! =)
draumstafur Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
this is...wonderful
love it.
Kaltenbrunner Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013
Thanks :)
Penguinton Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I really like the perspective. =3
BlackHeresy Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Je l'ai vue aussi, j'adore ša! :)
Kaltenbrunner Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012
Nice to you ;)
justanothersomeone Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2012  Student Photographer
Greetings! My name is Westley and this is a part of the Feedback Frenzy competition. I'd like to follow a loose guideline addressing the issues that you requested feedback on.

Point of view and composition: 5/5 The point of view and composition are perfect for this shot. Your angle and placement of the camera allow for the vanishing point to fall center in the frame which I am a big fan of. Some people like asymmetrical work and might suggest that you were standing further to the left and that the end of the line of trains fell more to the right of the frame. This could have been a nice way to shoot it for it would have cropped out the empty space to the right of the image. However, I like the contrast of the darker negative space but a few technical flaws are prohibiting this from being as successful as it could have been. This leads me to the next point.

Contrast and tonal range: 2.5/5 The contrast is a bit flat all around. A global change in your photo editing software could easily fix this. A curves layer would be the easiest way to do this. This would also give you a chance to get a more full tonal range. Your tonal range overall is nice but could use a little more tweaking. Some local changes could really make this photograph powerful. I suggest masking the arrows and dotted line in the foreground and bringing them into a higher range. I feel like they are a vital part of the composition as they play off of the movement of the trains coming in and out of the station and they also compliment your vanishing point. Sadly they are barely visible and are getting lost in the image. As for the right section of the photograph it has lost most detail. If you shot this in raw format you might be able to lower your blacks and raise the fill light to bring in more detail but it looks to me like the exposure was a bit off.

Exposure: 3/5 You exposed properly for the highlights but the shadows are a bit lost. To fix this I would have used a tripod. I'm not sure if you used one or not and I am fully aware that they are a hassle to carry on shoots but it is crucial on a back-light subject such as this. With the tripod in hand simply take multiple exposure and then in post processing you can put them together so that your shadows can keep a maximum amount of detail and interest without your highlights being blown out.

Conceptual: 5/5 I really like the way you took the subject of the train station and created a piece that is highly conceptual. Titles are extremely important and yours is doing a good job on setting up the photograph for your audience. The train departing into the light from the darkness, or even the train arriving into darkness from the light, is a strong metaphor that opens up a number of possibilities for the viewer to have their own dialogue and interpretation. The arrows in the foreground pointing both in and out add to this idea.

Overall 15.5/20 While their is a lot of room for improvement on the technical aspects of the photograph you still present us with a very ambient and moody piece utilizing a beautiful location with a strong conceptual approach. Great work and keep shooting!
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