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The Light by Kaltenbrunner The Light by Kaltenbrunner
Gare de Lyon, Paris.
Portra 160.

#FeedbackFrenzy : critique on the point of view, the contrast, the format of the picture, the composition.

Revamped the 4th october 2014.
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:iconblacky91:
The first thing I noticed about this, is that it's a little blurry, which can have a nice affect in some pictures, but in this case it just takes away from the quality, which is really rather sad.

The contrast is too strong too, the light is too strong, making the dark parts just too dark. A softer touch so people could see a little more of what's closest to them would have had a much better impact on the viewer and still create a great darkness/light contrast.

The angle is pretty good though, it gives an amazing sense of depth, you can see part of the ground, the sky, it's just all there.

All I can say really is that in general it was a good idea, but it's too blurry and the contrast is just a little too strong, work on that and your photos are gonna be A+
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
5 out of 5 deviants thought this was fair.

:icontechnolydead:
I Really do love this. You have a definitive stlye that is for sure. I Really do like this and have no real constructive critisim to contribute. To me this image is visually stunning, and I personally like the blurry look. I can't wait to see more of these. It does look like it might need to be color corrected, but to me it looks fine without it. Personally, this took my breath away, I really enjoy this image, along with your other ones. Keep up the good work. I am just curious on one aspect, I may have over looked it, what did you do exactly in the digital darkroom? and if it is on film (Which it looks like it can go either way for me) what did you do in the darkroom?
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
4 out of 4 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconalheimia:
Alheimia Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
C'est quoi, c'te ré-édit ? :o :p
Reply
:iconkaltenbrunner:
Kaltenbrunner Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2014
Retouches sur Lightroom pour redonner du peps à mes anciens clichés et les rapprocher de ma vision des choses :)
Reply
:iconalheimia:
Alheimia Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Hunhun !!! Yé vois !
Reply
:iconatxnewbie:
atxnewbie Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014
Nice ! =)
Reply
:icondraumstafur:
draumstafur Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
this is...wonderful
love it.
:wow:
Reply
:iconkaltenbrunner:
Kaltenbrunner Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013
Thanks :)
Reply
:iconpenguinton:
Penguinton Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I really like the perspective. =3
Reply
:iconblackheresy:
BlackHeresy Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Je l'ai vue aussi, j'adore ça! :)
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:iconkaltenbrunner:
Kaltenbrunner Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012
Nice to you ;)
Reply
:iconjustanothersomeone:
justanothersomeone Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2012  Student Photographer
Greetings! My name is Westley and this is a part of the Feedback Frenzy competition. I'd like to follow a loose guideline addressing the issues that you requested feedback on.

Point of view and composition: 5/5 The point of view and composition are perfect for this shot. Your angle and placement of the camera allow for the vanishing point to fall center in the frame which I am a big fan of. Some people like asymmetrical work and might suggest that you were standing further to the left and that the end of the line of trains fell more to the right of the frame. This could have been a nice way to shoot it for it would have cropped out the empty space to the right of the image. However, I like the contrast of the darker negative space but a few technical flaws are prohibiting this from being as successful as it could have been. This leads me to the next point.

Contrast and tonal range: 2.5/5 The contrast is a bit flat all around. A global change in your photo editing software could easily fix this. A curves layer would be the easiest way to do this. This would also give you a chance to get a more full tonal range. Your tonal range overall is nice but could use a little more tweaking. Some local changes could really make this photograph powerful. I suggest masking the arrows and dotted line in the foreground and bringing them into a higher range. I feel like they are a vital part of the composition as they play off of the movement of the trains coming in and out of the station and they also compliment your vanishing point. Sadly they are barely visible and are getting lost in the image. As for the right section of the photograph it has lost most detail. If you shot this in raw format you might be able to lower your blacks and raise the fill light to bring in more detail but it looks to me like the exposure was a bit off.

Exposure: 3/5 You exposed properly for the highlights but the shadows are a bit lost. To fix this I would have used a tripod. I'm not sure if you used one or not and I am fully aware that they are a hassle to carry on shoots but it is crucial on a back-light subject such as this. With the tripod in hand simply take multiple exposure and then in post processing you can put them together so that your shadows can keep a maximum amount of detail and interest without your highlights being blown out.

Conceptual: 5/5 I really like the way you took the subject of the train station and created a piece that is highly conceptual. Titles are extremely important and yours is doing a good job on setting up the photograph for your audience. The train departing into the light from the darkness, or even the train arriving into darkness from the light, is a strong metaphor that opens up a number of possibilities for the viewer to have their own dialogue and interpretation. The arrows in the foreground pointing both in and out add to this idea.

Overall 15.5/20 While their is a lot of room for improvement on the technical aspects of the photograph you still present us with a very ambient and moody piece utilizing a beautiful location with a strong conceptual approach. Great work and keep shooting!
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:iconyangosplat:
yangosplat Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I'd just like to say - wow. This is an awesome critique. It's one of those where you're just browsing through the critiques and you have to stop and leave a comment because it's so extraordinary; one of the best I've seen ever, in fact. Great job! :)
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:iconlashellevalentine:
LashelleValentine Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2012  Student Photographer
Hello! I'm :iconlashellevalentine: and I would love to critique your photograph for you on behalf of the contest held by #FeedbackFrenzy.


I really love how dark this photo is. It gives off the feeling of being abandoned, dark, and dismal. The contrast is beautiful, and the composition is outstanding. It makes me think of the saying "the light at the end of the tunnel". I do agree that the small reflection on the right hand side is a little distracting, but it's definitely no big deal if you want to leave it. Besides that I see nothing else I could say negative about it, and it is a fantastic photo over all :)
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:iconoperia:
Operia Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I quite like this photo! The lighting is used effectively to give a dark atmosphere, and the overall scene appears to suggest loneliness. Considering the location - a railway station - this lonely atmosphere is quite suiting; as someone departs, another is left behind. The point of view further suggests isolation, being far away from the train in the distance & the light source.

One thing I will mention is that, in full view, the image is quite blurry. Although this could be used for effect, especially if you're going for a dark/macabre atmosphere, I thought it was worth indicating. I'm not sure what model camera you use, so I can't give you any advice in that field.

Aside from the blurriness, there isn't much to be said. This is a nice, dark piece, and I encourage you to continue taking awesome photos
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:iconsilvershadowess:
SilverShadowess Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Student General Artist
Ooh I think this is really cool. I love how dark it is, and how the light is slowly creeping up the floor, and then you get all the way back to the opening to the outside. One suggestion I have is to crop the right side a little, where that shiny object is. It's a little bit distracting, though overall the whole picture works really where.
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:iconkaltenbrunner:
Kaltenbrunner Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012
I understand your statement but I'll keep the format of the photograph, even if it can be a distraction, you're right ;)
Thanks again.
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:iconsilvershadowess:
SilverShadowess Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Student General Artist
I understand, just a suggestion since you asked for critique. :)
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:iconkaltenbrunner:
Kaltenbrunner Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012
No problem, but since I'm working with film photograph, I don't crop ;)
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:iconsilvershadowess:
SilverShadowess Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Student General Artist
I understand! I actually like that you aren't editing it. :D
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:icontristencoy:
TristenCoy Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Student General Artist
Nice picture! I almost wish it would be a bit more brighter so you can see more detail but I like how the train is lit up. It would even better if the train was vibrant, like that strip along the side of it? The darkness of it makes it look so mysterious and actually reminds me of a movie scene. Good job (:
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:iconkaltenbrunner:
Kaltenbrunner Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012
Thanks ;)
The details weren't what I wanted to capture indeed, I took as reference the light at the end of the hall, so the rest of the picture would seem in the dark, like a tunnel, in fact.
Thanks for your comment :)
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:icontristencoy:
TristenCoy Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Student General Artist
Ahh, I see what you mean (: Clever (:

And you're welcome (:
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:iconkaltenbrunner:
Kaltenbrunner Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012
But your idea was interesting ;)
But I just one shot available, so I chose this point of view.
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:icontristencoy:
TristenCoy Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Student General Artist
Thanks (: And that is understandable. I know what you mean by that (:
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:iconautomnal-glimpse:
automnal-glimpse Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Super, j'aime beaucoup l'atmosphère ! Pendant un moment, j'avais en tête une image de la gare de Saint-Lazarre, au XIXème siècle ^^
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:iconkaltenbrunner:
Kaltenbrunner Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012
La seule que j'ai à l'esprit ( et encore, je doute qu'il s'agisse de la gare Saint-Lazare, je crois même que c'est Austerlitz :D ), c'est le train qui n'avait pu s'arrêter à temps et qui était passé à travers le mur de façade.
En réalité, dans le cliché, ce n'était pas tant la gare que je trouvais intéressante, mais la lumière qui contrastait avec l'obscurité. Je conceptualisais la lumière au bout du tunnel ( approximativement :p ).
Merci :)
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:iconautomnal-glimpse:
automnal-glimpse Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Je ne faisais pas tellement référence au train (qui est moderne, on le voit en faisant attention), mais plutôt à la voute, à l'architecture, et justement, la lumière particulière m'a fait à une vieille gare du passé, St Lazare sûrement parce que c'est celle que je connais le mieux :D Et puis j'aime beaucoup la peinture du train de Monet ~
de rien ! :)
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:icondanielneeta:
DanielNeeta Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012  Professional
good work!
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:iconadroitdroid:
AdroitDroid Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Great lighting on this photo, it makes it seem very mysterious. The station itself is also amazing!
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:iconizzy358:
izzy358 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I really like how much of a contrast there is between the light in the background and the dark in the foreground, great photo :)
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:iconkaltenbrunner:
Kaltenbrunner Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
It came as I intended to, the light beyond the dark.
Thanks for the comment :)
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:iconauntypsychotic:
auntypsychotic Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012  Professional General Artist
stunning in its strength. very well-done.
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:iconkaltenbrunner:
Kaltenbrunner Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012
Thank you !
Reply
:iconwangjundu:
WangJundu Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012  Professional Writer
Love from Shanghai! :kiss:

Love from Shanghai! :kiss:

Love from Shanghai! :kiss:
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:iconcirisart:
CirisART Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
very beautiful: remember me Central Station in Milan
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:iconkaltenbrunner:
Kaltenbrunner Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012
Thank you very much :)
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:iconcirisart:
CirisART Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
It's a pleasure ;)
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:icongloomyprincess:
gloomyprincess Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2012
Y a pas à dire, les gares parisiennes ont du charme. Un peu sombre à mon goût, mais ça met en avant la sortie des rails vers la lumière, ce qui après tout est en général une des symboliques du voyage =)
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:iconkaltenbrunner:
Kaltenbrunner Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2012
En réalité, seule la lumière m'intéressait. Je me fichais de la gare en elle-même, ce n'est pas le thème du voyage ici, c'est plus un thème métaphysique de type "la lumière au bout du tunnel". Ce qui explique probablement mon approche ;)
Merci de la remarque.
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:icongloomyprincess:
gloomyprincess Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2012
Oui, je faisais rentrer la mort dans ce concept de voyage, j'évoquais celui-ci surtout pour élargir les possibles, parce que la signification que tu as voulu donné à la photo est évidente (et donc l'image réussie)
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:iconkaltenbrunner:
Kaltenbrunner Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2012
Très bien. Cela fait toujours plaisir de voir une personne essayer de donner une opinion construite sur une photographie.
Merci ;)
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:icondark-pheonix-4eva:
Dark-Pheonix-4eva Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
This is a great photo!
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:iconkaltenbrunner:
Kaltenbrunner Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012
Thank you very much :)
Reply
:icondark-pheonix-4eva:
Dark-Pheonix-4eva Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
welcomeness :)
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